A few days ago as I sat nonchalant reading an article for a class at one of the many cafes that litter the university campus I attend, I happened to overhear two Somali sisters conversation. One of the sisters was modestly dressed while the other was a more modern ‘liberal’ minded sister. After talking about their courses, professors, and future ambitions (they were both political science majors and wanted to go on to law school), the topic soon turned to love and marriage.
“There are no Somali guys worth marrying,” the liberal sister stated. “They’re all such losers. No ambition, no drive, no interest. They’re all just wanna be thangs.” Then a ten minute rant bashing Somali men followed. As the liberal minded sister continued on her rant, I couldn’t help but smirked to myself because I had been expected the conversation to ‘go there’. Never have a group of Somali women gather without complaining about Somali men. However, these days the vitriol seems to have intensified and who could blame them? We as Somali men have given them plenty of reasons to be angry with us. Many of the older Somali men living aboard have abandoned their families to return home in search of political glory and new young wives. Their sons having no father figures to look up to have mostly become “gangstas” and ended up in jail, if not dead. But though Somali women have always complained about Somali men, they have always stood by us, and support us…that is until this new generation.
The conversation between the two Somali sister from there then turned to marrying outside the Somali community. The liberal minded sister said she would consider marrying a non-Somali, and the other sister asked her if the stigmatism attached to that would not bother her. “Who are they to judge me?” she replied. In fact, more and more brighter sisters have chosen to look elsewhere for husbands feeling our community has nothing to offer them.
What’s significant about the new generation of young Somali adults is that because of the civil war many of us were either born or raised aboard. We’ve had to learn quickly how to blend our parents’ traditions, expectations, and culture with that of the new country in which we were raised. This is a delicate balancing act and there are few people who have managed to successfully balance both. Many have been lost through large gaps that exist between the two cultures, others have succeed and still other believed they have succeed but are truly lost. The guys in jail and who think they’re thangs are the most obvious example of failure but the not so obvious example is the liberal minded sister in the story. She personifies perfectly the Somali who thinks that they are so high above their own race that they can bash them in public. She may have been successful at school but she still lacked a great deal of decorum and culture.
As I got up from my table to head to class I passed by the table the Somali sisters were sitting at and placed a card on it. “There’s still some successful Somali guys around. We’re not all extinct yet.” I said giving them a cocky smile, before walking off. The liberal sister picked up the card and read my name, “Mahad Omar, Ph.D candidate Political Science”. She starred after me too surprised to speak.
By: Y. Ismail
The blame on the young men is quite true, there is few success story about young somali men. however there is an exytraordinary high number of sucessful somali girls, this is going to be one of the tragedy of our time seen our women leaving us because so many "cave men"!
I think we ignore social issue and spent a lot of time on endless Somali political. History has tell us that large number of women like to be with the winner and the rich. Not every person get the opportunity to be rich and winner.
Somalimen should stop by marrying 19 and 20 years old Somali girls in back home and leaving their wives in the cold winter in N.America and Europe.
Don’t forger there are some Somali women who are also lost. Sometimes you find young Women who consumed too much alcohol and unable to walk. How many times I help them just because they are Somali sisters who lost and did not want others to take advantage. Yes many Somalimen are lost but don’t forget there are also number of women who are the same.
Their famalies also take the blame because they want to do things their ways the old ways. They should be aware of the changes that these young people put up with.
How many Somali man I told them brothers stay away from drugs. Some of the responses were that their mothers called them Mr Fariid since he makes money in easy way. Their family need to tell them by selling drugs they are broken the law of the land.
where do people in this site get the audacity to discuss somalinimo
you have for saken your childeren and somaliwaynes childeren when you picked up a gun and decided to destroy our collective dignity
somali people alwayes needed a great zoo keeper and all you do is talk but never propose a salutation
somalinimo died 1991 and you killed it, now stop complaining and give your daughters hand to the benevolent jamaican brother
history will vindicate those that knew how to manage the naive and lust prone somalis
culturally somaliwaynes future looks bleak I cez its better to invite in to bed the ethopians ministry of culture rather than the liberal europeans atleast some elements of our society have common heritage with our next door abyssinian friends
Somali men qaad bay ku habsaameen. Doob Qalanjadii gabay miidhan bay noqdeen.
I really can't stand people like you Mr. Mahad, in your article you have said "many somali men return home in search of political glory" and you have Ph. D, on Political Science, like we need another politician. must of our problems come from western educated liberal minded man like not from women, so thanks for wasteting my time
Mahad,
Let us hold our horses for a moment.
This is not a unique problem to Somalis.
It is something that every first or second generation of immigrants of every immaginable color and creed from all corners of the world has been grappling with for so many decades.
New immigrant men suffer from a variety of setbacks such as wounded social status and pride due to their inability to continue being bread winners as they used to be back home, the ensuing family break down and divorce, teenage deliquency or drop out from school, or being trapped in dead-end menial jobs and the like are a fact of life for many.
In the end of the day, some people will manage and succeed, others won’t and that is life but, of course, the world moves on.
Quote " We’re not all extinct yet.” I said giving them a cocky smile, before walking off. The liberal sister picked up the card and read my name, “Mahad Omar, Ph.D candidate Political Science”. She starred after me too surprised to speak." unquote …talking about being up your A""S
First Mr Y.Ismail or is it Mahad Omar / when you are written a article use only one name.
Secondly we the of rer somali people are an open people who have always welcomed other AJinabi.
We don,t care about the color of your skin but is more concerned with your deen . At the end of the day we are all the children of Adam iyo H,ewa
.Lastly the growth of our population is 3/4 percent meaning that already 25 million somali and in 50 years 100 million.
So I think it all in your head dont waste our time
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Gulled Farah , Safariya, dhuulka Somaliyeed